Subj:     Facts3
                 (Includes 27 jokes and articles, 11944nn,3,cf,md4wT,2)

Bears in Flowers
Includes the following:  Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S662b)
.........................The Astronaut Pen (S52, S369)
.........................Guinness World Records Day 2014 - Video (S930)
.........................Dumb Bank Robber (S568)
.........................How To Open A Locked Suitcase - Video (S601b)
.........................History Test (S446)
.........................WGASA Bush Line (S59)
.........................Something Down The Drain? - Video (S645b)
.........................Urban Legend Exposed (S59)
.........................Dubious Acheivement Awards -- British Division
.........................Party And Travel Dangers
.........................The Origin Of The Middle Finger (S58, S472c)
.........................'Plucking Yew' Is Urban Legend
.........................A Kiss
.........................New Airport Managers (S44)
.........................Creative Trash Cans (S51)
.........................FCC Proposal To Charge For Internet Service (S49)
.........................Truth About FCC Proposal
                         Short True Stories
..............................Tornadoes (S390b)
..............................Number Of Words (S183)
..............................Faux Cue

     by John Graziano
     From: Comics.com on 9/17/2009
 Source: http://comics.com/ripleys_believe_it_or_not/
Subj:     The Astronaut Pen (S52, S369)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/5/98
      and From: CHRISDADDYG on 2/9/2004

 During the heat of the space race in the 1960s, the U.S.
 National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it
 needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity
 confines of its space capsules.  After considerable
 research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed
 at a cost of approximately $1 million U.S. dollars.  The
 pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a
 novelty item back here on earth.  It writes in zero gravity,
 upside down, on almost any surface including glass and at
 temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 degrees F

 The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.

 Enjoy paying your taxes--they're due again.

Subj:     Guinness World Records Day 2014 (S930d)
          Posted by Guinness World Records
          From: AFine963 on 11/13/2014
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/1P_optx2YvY

 Today, November 13th, marks the tenth annual Guinness World
 Records Day, when thousands of people around the world
 celebrate those who set records and others set out to break them.

 One record that's already been broken today is the farthest
 backwards basketball shot. Thunder from Harlem Globetrotters
 shattered the record of 72'2" feet by successfully nailing a
 shot from ten feet further away.

 Another record that was broken was for the fastest hundred
 meter dash on all-fours. The record was set last year by
 Japanese athlete Kenichi Ito with a time just under 17 seconds.
 This year, he attempted to break that record, however, he had
 some competition.  Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for
 my file copy, to see this fascinating video.

Subj:     Dumb Bank Robber (S568)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98

 Florida: [Pardon our English] Wearing a ski mask and
 carrying a gun, a thief burst into the bank one day.
 Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, FREEZE,
 MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A _ _ _ _-UP!"  For a moment,
 everyone was silent.  Then the snickers started.  The
 guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing.  It
 probably saved his life, because he'd been about to
 draw his gun.  He couldn't have drawn and fired before
 the thief got him.  The thief ran away and is still at
 large.  In memory of the event, the bank has put this
 engraved plaque on the wall ...."Freeze, Mother-Stickers,
 this is a _ _ _ _-up!"

Subj:    How To Open A Locked Suitcase (S601b,d)
         From: LABLaughsclean
         on 7/9/2008 (in HowTo)
Photo from YouTub
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2OsXYTx7eg

 Lost a suitcase Key? How do you get into it?  This video
 will show you how to get it safely open.  You can view this
 short video at the above source, or by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     History Test (S446)
          From: RFSlick on 7/31/2005

 Please pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following
 multiple choice test.  The events are actual cuts from past
 history.They actually happened!!!

 Do you remember?

  -1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by
     a. Superman
     b. Jay Leno
     c. Harry Potter
     d.Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

  1. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped
     and massacred by
     a. Olga Corbett
     b. Sitting Bull
     c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
     d.Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

  2. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
     a. Lost Norwegians
     b. Elvis
     c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
     d.Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

  3. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
     a. John Dillinger
     b. The King of Sweden
     c. The Boy Scouts
     d.Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

  4. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
     a. A pizza delivery boy
     b. Pee Wee Herman
     c. Geraldo Rivera
     d.Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

  5. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a
     70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown
     overboard in his wheelchair by:
     a. The Smurfs
     b. Davy Jones
     c. The Little Mermaid
     d.Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

  6. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy
     diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
     a. Captain Kidd
     b. Charles Lindberg
     c. Mother Teresa
     d.Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

  7. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
     a. Scooby Doo
     b. The Tooth Fairy
     c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
     d.Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

  8. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
     a. Richard Simmons
     b. Grandma Moses
     c. Michael Jordan
     d.Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

  9. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
     a. Mr. Rogers
     b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's
        women problems
     c. The World Wrestling Federation
     d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

 10. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used a
     missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the
     remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the
     other was diverted and crashed by the passengers.  Thousands
     of people were killed by:
     a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
     b. The Supreme Court of Florida
     c. Mr. Bean
     d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

 11. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
     a. Enron
     b. The Lutheran Church
     c. The NFL
     d.Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

 12. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
     a. Bonnie and Clyde
     b. Captain Kangaroo
     c. Billy Graham
     d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and40

 13. 2004 - Spain Railway bombings.
     Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


 14. 2005 London Railway bombings
     Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

 Nope, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling,
 do you?

 So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone,particularly
 fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will
 no longer be allowed to profile certain people.  They must
 conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids,
 airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents of
 the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with
 metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning and former Governor
 Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40
 alone because of profiling.

 As the writer of the award winning story "Forrest Gump" so
 aptly put it, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Subj:     WGASA Bush Line (S59)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98

 Some years ago, the famous San Diego Zoo opened a second,
 larger branch called the San Diego Wild Animal Park. The
 Park is built around an enormous open-field enclosure
 where the animals roam free.

 To see the animals, visitors ride on a monorail called
 the Wgasa Bush Line which circles the enclosure.  Here's
 the true story of how the Wgasa Bush Line got its name.

 They wanted to give the monorail a jazzy, African sounding
 name.  So they sent out a memo to a bunch of zoo staffers
 saying,"What shall we call the monorail at the Wild Animal
 Park?"  One of the memos came back with "WGASA" written on
 the bottom. The planners loved it and the rest is history.

 What the planners didn't know was that the zoo staffer had
 not intended to suggest a name.  He was using an acronym
 which was popular at the time.  It stood for "Who gives a
 shit anyhow?"

Subj:     Something Down The Drain? 
          Retrieve it Without a Wrench. (S645b,d)
          By Michael Davis
                     From: gattica30 on 5/12/2009
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/k-oSz6E50hQ

 This short video teaches you how to get something out of
 a sewer drain without a wrench.  Click on the above source,
 or 'HERE' for my file copy, to learn how to do this recovery.

Subj:     Urban Legend Exposed (S59)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98
          (See 'The Ultimate Urban Legend' in STORIES)

 There are not many people who have never received a
 chainletter, either via snailmail or e-mail, asking for
 lots of Get Well-cards for a 9-year old boy dying of
 cancer, so he could break the world record..

 That boy *was* Craig Shergold, he's now 18, cured of cancer,
 and appeared on the October 20th 1997 edition of the BBC
 programme.  Here?Now. When he first made his appeal for Get
 Well-cards, he thought he'd never get more than a hundred
 or so, even though he wanted about a million in order to
 beat the record.  He got 16 million, and his entry in the
 Guinnes Book of Records.

 Over the years however, people have kept sending him cards,
 and he has now received about 190 million!  He is an entire
 mail-district by himself, and gets 6 mailbags of card every
 single day!  Once every week, volunteers gather, and open
 the mail and remove the stamps so that everything can be
 recycled.  When the BBC crew was filming there, they were
 somewhat embarrased to find that even BBC programmes are
 still sending cards.  In one week Craig now gets 5000 cards
 from Poland - of all places - alone!

 The Shergold's are quite fed up, and desperately want every-
 body to stop sending cards.  Even the Royal Mail made a
 passionate plea for people to stop sending cards.

 On the up side, bills are lost in the pile (that takes up
 a room) quite often......

 Source: Here?Now, British Broadcasting Corporation, Mon 20
 Oct 1997

Subj:     Dubious Achievement Awards -- British Division
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98

 The following is from the British Sunday Express giving
 Gongs (medals) for dubious distinctions.

 Tortoise Trophy:
 To British Rail, which ingeniously solved the problem of
 lateness in the InterCity express train service by
 redefining "on time" to include trains arriving within
 one hour of schedule.

 Rubber Cushion:
 To John Bloor, who mistook a tube of superglue for his
 hemorrhoid cream and glued his buttocks together.

 Crimewatch Cup:
 Gold star:
 To Henry Smith, arrested moments after returning home with
 a stolen stereo.  His error was having tattooed on his
 forehead in large capital letters the words "Henry Smith".
 His lawyer told the court: "My client is not a very bright
 young man."

 Silver star:
 To Michael Robinson, who rang police to deliver a bomb
 threat, but became so agitated about the mounting cost of
 the call that he began screaming "Call me back!" and left
 his phone number.

 Bronze star:
 To Paul Monkton, who used as his getaway vehicle a van with
 his name and phone number painted in foot-high letters on
 the side.

 British Cup:
 To the passengers on a jam-packed train from Margate to
 Victoria, who averted their eyes while John Henderson and
 Zoe D'Arcy engaged in oral sex and then moved on to
 intercourse... but complained when the pair lit up
 post-coital cigarettes in a non-smoking compartment.

 Flying Cross:
 To Percy the Pigeon, who flopped down exhausted in a
 Sheffield loft, having beaten 1,000 rivals in a 500 mile
 race, and was immediately eaten by a cat.  Alas, the
 90-minute delay resulting from finding his remains and
 handing his ID tag to the judges relegated Percy from first
 to third place.

 Lazarus Laurel:
 To Julia Carson, who as her tearful family gathered round
 her coffin in a New York funeral parlour, sat bolt upright
 and asked what the hell was going on.  Celebrations were
 short-lived, due to the fact that Mrs. Carson's daughter,
 Julie, immediately dropped dead from shock.

 Silver Bullet:
 [UPI, Spain] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag
 standing above him on an overhanging rock -- and was killed
 instantly when it fell on him.

Subj:     Party And Travel Dangers
          From: RFSlick on 98-01-18

 This story is NOT true, but it is great reading.

 This is not a joke, it is a rather sick and unfortunately, true
 story, so beware.  This story came from the "Daily Texan" - the
 University of Texas Newspaper.  Apparently it occurred during
 Fall Premier - a UT tradition that is a celebration of the end
 of midterms.  "REASON NOT TO PARTY ANYMORE" - This guy went out
 one Saturday night to a party.  He was having a good time, had
 a couple of beers and some girl seemed to like him and invited
 him to go to another party.  He quickly agreed and decided to
 go along with her.  She took him to a party in - some apartment
 and they continued to drink, and even got involved with some
 other drugs (unknown which).  The next thing he knew, he woke
 up completely naked in a bathtub filled with ice.  He was still
 feeling the effects of the drugs but looked around to see he
 was alone.  He looked down at his chest, which had "CALL 911 OR
 YOU WILL DIE" written on it in lipstick.  He saw a phone was on
 a stand next to the tub, so he picked it up and dialed.  He
 explained to the EMS operator what the situation was and that
 he didn't know where he was, what he took, or why he was really
 calling.  She advised him to get out of the tub.  He did, and
 she asked him to look himself over in the mirror.  He did, and
 appeared normal, so she told him to check his back.  He did
 only to find two 9 inch slits on his lower back.  She told him
 to get back in the tub immediately, and they sent a rescue team
 over.  Apparently, after being examined, he found out more of
 what had happened. His kidneys were stolen.  They are worth
 $10,000 each on the black market.

 Several guesses are in order:  The second party was a sham, the
 people involved had to be at least medical students, and it was
 not just recreational drugs he was given.  Regardless, he is
 currently in the hospital on life support, awaiting a kidney.
 The University of Texas in conjunction with Baylor University
 Medical Center is conducting tissue research to match the
 sophomore student with a donor.

 I wish to warn you about a new crime ring that is targeting
 business travelers.  This ring is well organized, well funded,
 has very skilled personnel, and is currently in most major
 cities and recently very active in New Orleans.  The crime
 begins when a business traveler goes to a lounge for a drink
 at the end of the work day.  A person in the bar walks up as
 they sit alone and offers to buy them a drink.  The last thing
 the traveler remembers until they wake up in hotel room bath
 tub, their body submerged to their neck in ice, is sipping
 that drink.  There is a note taped to the wall instructing
 them not to move and to call 911.  A phone is on a small table
 next to the bathtub for them to call.  The business traveler
 calls 911 who have become quite familiar with this crime.
 The business traveler is instructed by the 911 operator to
 very slowly and carefully reach behind them and feel if there
 is a tube protruding from their lower back.  The business
 traveler finds the tube and answers, "yes".  The 911 operator
 tells them to remain still, having already sent paramedics to
 help.  The operator knows that both of the business traveler's
 kidneys have been harvested.

 This is not a scam or out of a science fiction novel, it is
 real.  It is documented and can be confirmed.  If you travel
 or someone close to you travels, please be careful.  Sadly,
 this is very true.  My husband is a Houston Firefighter/EMT
 and they have received alerts regarding this crime ring.  It
 is to be taken very seriously.  The daughter of a friend of a
 fellow firefighter had this happen to her.  Skilled doctor's
 are performing these crimes!  (Which by the way have been
 highly noted in the Las Vegas area).  Additionally, the
 military has received alerts regarding this.  This story blew
 me away.  I really want as many people to see this as possible,
 so please bounce this to whoever you can.

Subj:     Cookies
          From: Internet Joke Archive
          (See 'The Ultimate Urban Legend' in STORIES)

 This story is NOT true, but it is great reading.

 Okay, everyone....a true story of justice in the good old
 U.S. of A.  Thought y'all might enjoy this; if nothing else,
 it shows internet justice, if it can be called that.

 My daughter and I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus
 Cafe in Dallas and decided to have a small dessert.  Because
 our family are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the
 "Neiman-Marcus Cookie".  It was so excellent that I asked if
 they would give me the recipe and they said with a small
 frown, "I'm afraid not."  Well, I said, would you let me buy
 the recipe?  With a cute smile she said, "Yes." I asked how
 much, and she responded, "Two fifty."

 I said with approval, just add it to my tab.

 Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from Neiman-
 Marcus and it was salads and about statement, it said,
 "Cookie recipe-- Neiman's Accounting Dept., and told them
 the waitress said it was "two fifty," and I did not realize
 she meant.  I asked them to take back the recipe and reduce
 my bill and they said they were sorry, but because all the
 recipes were this expensive so not just everyone could
 duplicate any of our bakery recipes....the bill would stand.
 I waited, thinking of how I could get even or even try and
 get any of my money back.  I just said, "Okay, you folks got
 my worth of fun."  I told her that I was going to see to it
 that every cookie lover will have a replied, "I wish you
 wouldn't do this." I said, "I'm sorry but this is the only
 way I feel I could get even," and I will.

 So, here it is, and please pass it to someone or run a few
 copies....I paid for it; now you can have it for free.

 (Recipe may be halved):
 2 cups butter 4 cups flour
 2 tsp. soda 2 cups sugar
 5 cups blended oatmeal** 24 oz. chocolate chips
 2 cups brown sugar 1 tsp. salt
 1 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated) 4 eggs
 2 tsp. baking powder 3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
 2 tsp. vanilla
 **measure oatmeal and blend in a blender to a fine powder.
 Cream the butter and both sugars.  Add eggs and vanilla;
 mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and
 soda.  Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar and nuts.
 Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie
 sheet.  Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.

 Have fun!!! This is not a joke--this is a true story.

Subj:     The Origin Of The Middle Finger (S58, S472c)
          From: rlr29 on 97-02-11
      and From: DoctorDebt on 1/30/2006


 The 'Car Talk' show (on NPR) with Click and Clack, the Tappet
 Brothers have a feature called the 'Puzzler', and their recent
 'Puzzler' was about the Battle of Agincourt in 1415.  The French,
 who were overwhelmingly favored to win the battle, threatened to
 cut a certain body part off of all captured English soldiers so
 that they could never fight again.

 The English won in a major upset and waved the body part in
 question at the French in defiance.  The  puzzler was: What was
 this body part?  This is the answer submitted by a listener:

 Dear Click and Clack, Thank you for the Agincourt 'Puzzler',
 which clears up some profound questions of etymology, folklore
 and emotional symbolism. The body part which the French proposed
 to cut off of the English after defeating them was, of course,
 the middle finger, without which it is impossible to draw the
 renowned English longbow.

 This famous weapon was made of the native English yew tree, and
 so the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking yew".
 Thus, when the victorious English waved their middle fingers at
 the defeated French, they said, "See, we can still pluck yew!

 Over the years some 'folk etymologies' have grown up around this
 symbolic gesture.  Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say
 (like "pleasant mother pheasant plucker", which is who you had
 to go to for the feathers used on the arrows), the difficult
 consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a
 labiodental fricative 'f', and thus the words often used in
 conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to
 have something to do with an intimate encounter.  It is also
 because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the symbolic
 gesture is known as "giving the bird".

 And yew all thought yew knew everything!
                                ,/_ /
                               ,/_ /
                              /   /
                         /'_`/?  ?/?__`7,
                      /'/   /   /  /" /_\
                     ('(   '   '  _~/' ')
                      \              ' /
                      '\'   \       _.7'
                        \            /
                         \          /

   Giving the Finger

 ----- End

Subj:     'Plucking Yew' Is Urban Legend
          From: merlin_of_chaos on 9/25/2003

 The origin of 'Plucking Yew' from the Battle of Agincourt
 in 1415 in which the British defeated the French using the
 longbow is an Urban Legend.  The real origin of 'The Bird'
 can be found at the web site


Subj:     A Kiss - Excerpt from a magazine article on the origins
                   of the kiss (source unknown):

 The kiss as we know it today was invented by medieval knights
 for the purpose of determining whether their wives had been
 tapping the "mead barrel" (drinking liquor) while they were
 away on crusades."  According to the book "A Kiss is Just a
 Kiss" by Bruce Velick.

 The stodgy Victorians frowned on almost anything that
 involved bodily contact.  Social kissing was considered
 unacceptable behavior in both England and the United States
 during this era.

 In Poland, a kiss on the hand was considered a sign of
 rebellion during 40 years of Communist rule.

 Today, social kissing carries different meanings for
 different cultures.  By and large, of course, it is still a
 gesture of greeting.  "Every culture has to have a greeting
 ceremony," Tiger says, adding that animals have similar
 rituals.  Male chimpanzees, for instance, touch each other's
 testicles in greeting.

Subj:     New Airport Managers (S44)
          From: Octagon999 on 97-11-30

 From an article in this Tuesday's Wall Street Journal, about
 the Dutch firm that has been hired to manage the International
 Arrivals Building at New York's John F. Kennedy Airport:

 The tile under the urinals in the Arrivals Building has that
 familiar lemony tinge; rubber soles stick to it. Over in
 Amsterdam, the tile under Schiphol's urinals would pass
 inspection in an operating room. But nobody notices. What
 everybody does notice is that each urinal has a fly in it. Look
 harder, and the fly turns into the black outline of a fly, etched
 into the porcelain.

 "It improves the aim," says Aad Kieboom. "If a man sees a fly,
 he aims at it." Mr. Kieboom, an economist, directs Schiphol's
 own building expansion. His staff conducted fly-in-urinal trials
 and found that etchings reduce spillage by 80%. The Dutch
 will transfer the technology to New York.

 "We will put flies in the urinals yes," Jan Jansen says in a
 back office at the Arrivals Building. He is the new Dutch
 general manager, the boss as of noon today. "It gives a guy
 something to think about. That's the perfect example of
 process control."

Subj:     Creative Trash Cans (S51)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/5/98

 A few years ago, a city in the Netherlands had a refuse
 problem.  A once-clean section of town had become an
 eyesore because people had stopped using the trash cans.
 There were cigarette butts, beer bottles, chocolate
 wrappers, newspapers, and other trash littering the

 Obviously, the sanitation department was concerned, so
 they sought ways to clean up the city.  One idea was to
 double the littering fine from 25 guilders to 50 guilders
 for each offense.  They tried this, but it had little
 effect.  Another approach was to increase the number of
 litter-agents who patrolled the area.  This was more of
 the same, that is, another "punish the litterer" solution,
 and it, too, had little impact on the problem.

 Then somebody asked the following question:

 "What if our trash cans paid people money when they put
 their trash in?  We could put an electronic sensing device
 on each can as well as a coin-return mechanism.  Whenever
 a person put trash in the can, it would pay him 10

 The idea, to say the least, whacked everyone's thinking.
 The problem had been changed from a "punish the litterer"
 to one of "reward the law abider".  The idea had one
 glaring fault, however; if the city implemented the idea,
 it would go bankrupt. Half of Europe would come to use the
 trash cans!

 Fortunately, the people who were listening to this idea
 didn't evaluate it based on its practical merits.  Instead,
 they used it as a stepping stone and asked themselves:
 "What other ways are there in which we can reward people
 for putting their refuse in the trash cans?"  This question
 lead to the following solution.  The sanitation department
 developed electronic trash cans which had a sensing unit on
 the top that would detect when a piece of refuse had been
 deposited.  This would activate a tape-recorder that would
 play a recording of a joke.  In other words, joke-telling
 trash cans!

 Different trash cans told different kinds of jokes (some
 told bad puns while others told shaggy dog stories and
 still others told snappy one-liners) and soon developed
 repuations.  The jokes were changed every two weeks. As a
 result, people went out of their way to put their trash in
 the trash cans, and the town became clean once again.

Subj:     FCC Proposal To Charge For Internet Service (S49)
          From: JOELFALLON on 98-01-07
          (See 'The Ultimate Urban Legend' in STORIES
           and 'Truth About FCC Proposal' below)

 I am writing you this to inform you of a very important
 matter currently under review by the FCC.  Your local
 telephone company has filed a proposal with the FCC to
 impose per minute charges for your internet service. They
 contend that

 your usage has or will hinder the operation of the
 telephone network.  It is my belief that internet usage
 will diminish if users were required to pay additional
 per minute charges. The FCC has created an email box
 for your comments, responses must be received by February
 13, 1998.  Send your comments to isp@fcc.gov and tell them
 what you think.  Every phone company is in on this one,
 and they are trying to sneak it in just under the wire for
 litigation.?nbsp; Let everyone you know hear this one. Get
 the e-mail address to everyone you can think of.

Subj:     Truth About FCC Proposal
          From: Anaise on 98-01-11

 This is a typical email chain letter hoax, and has been
 around for ages.  While it has a grain of truth, the subject
 was dropped years ago to have per minute charges.

 From CIAC Chain letter web site:

 How do you recognize a chain letter?

 Chain letters all have a similar pattern.  From the older
 printed letters to the newer electronic kind, they all have
 three recognizable parts:

          A hook.
          A threat.
          A request.

 First, there is a hook, to catch your interest and get you
 to read the rest of the letter.  Hooks used to be "Make
 Money Fast" or "Get Rich" or similar statements related to
 making money for little or no work. Electronic chain letters
 also use the "free money" type of hooks, but have added
 hooks like "Danger!" and "Virus Alert" or "A Little Girl Is
 Dying".  These tie into our fear for the survival of our
 computers or into our sympathy for some poor unfortunate

 When you are hooked, you read on to the threat.  Most
 threats used warn you about the terrible things that will
 happen if you do not maintain the chain.  However, others
 play on greed or sympathy to get you to pass the letter on.
 The threat often contains official or technical sounding
 language to get you to believe it is real.

 Finally, the request.  Some older chain letters ask you to
 mail a dollar to the top ten names on the letter and then
 pass it on.  The electronic ones simply admonish you to
 "Distribute this letter to as many people as possible."
 They never mention clogging the Internet or the fact that
 the message is a fake, they only want you to pass it on to

 Chain letters usually do not have the name and contact
 information of the original sender so it is impossible to
 check on its authenticity.  Legitimate warnings and
 solicitations will always have complete contact information
 from the person sending the message and will often be signed
 with a cryptographic signature, such as PGP to assure its

 What should you do?

 If you receive a chain letter in your e-mail, either delete
 it or send it on to one person.  That one person is your
 local security officer or system administrator, thereby
 allowing them to investigate and warn their users not to
 pass on the letter.  Do not send it to your friends and
 relatives because you will be clogging up the network.  In
 addition, you lend your and your company's reputation to
 the message, making it appear to be authentic even when
 that is not the case. Hit the delete button instead and put
 that message where it belongs.

 Why aren't the chain letters on the CIAC hoaxes page?

 Many hoaxes are chain letters, but not all chain letters are
 verifibly hoaxes and, in fact, could describe real events.
 The CIAC hoaxes page is reserved for malicious code warnings
 that we know to be hoaxes.  Malicious code is defined as
 being a collection of programs such as viruses, Trojan
 horses, logic bombs, and worms.  The hoax warnings either
 describe things that cannot be true or have been traced to
 the perpetrator who admitted that it was a hoax.  Chain
 letters, on the other hand, often describe things that may
 be real.  In general, we believe they are all fakes, but
 that fact is often difficult or impossible to verify.  We
 still suggest that you do not pass them on, even if they
 could be real. The damage done by passing them on is much
 higher than the warning in the message.  Again, if you
 suspect the message is real, pass it to your security
 officer or incident response team and let them verify it

 Why do people send chain letters?

 Only the original writer knows the real reason, but some
 possibilities are:

    To see how far a letter will go.
    To harass another person (include an e-mail address
       and ask everyone to send mail, e.g. Jessica Mydek).
    To bilk money out of people using a pyramid scheme.
    To kill some other chain letter (e.g. Make Money Fast).
     To damage a person's or organization's reputation.

 I also want to thank Greg for the following specific
 information.  We will be more careful in the future.

Subj:     Truth About FCC Proposal II
          From: SSAGE19647 on 98-01-13

 I hate to say it, but your friend didn't check this out at
 the fcc web site.  The latest info on this subject can be
 checked out here:


 This is part of what it says:

 Q: Is the FCC considering allowing local phone companies to
 impose access charges on ISPs?

 A: The FCC requested public comment in December 1996 on
 whether ISPs should pay current access charges, and more
 generally on how Internet and interstate information
 services that use local telephone networks should be
 treated.  The Commission concluded on May 7, 1997 that
 ISPs should not be subject to interstate access charges.
 There is currently no open comment period on this issue.

 You can go there to get the rest of the info.

Subj:     Short True Stories

Subj:     Tornadoes (S390b)
          From: igiggle on 7/15/2004
 In the Northern Hemisphere, most tornadoes twist
 counterclockwise.  Below the equator, they spin
 the other way - clockwise.

Subj:     Number Of Words (S183)
          From: RFSlick on 7/31/00
         (Also see 'Number Of Words' in NATIONAL)
 Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
 The Lord's prayer: 66 words.
 Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
 The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
 The Gettysburg Address: 286 words.
 The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.
 The US Government regulations on the sale
    of cabbage: 26,911 words.

Subj:     Faux Cue
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #166
 Saw something when I was out tooling around today that I
 thought you might get a kick out of. On Magnolia Blvd just
 west of Cahuenga Blvd in N Hollywood, CA there's a
 rehearsal studio named, 'Faux Cue'...

 Try that about 3 or 4 times real fast...

From: tadams96 on 5/7/2002 (S275c)
 On the average, right handed people live nine years longer
 than those who are left-handed. (So if you're ambidextrous,
 do you split the difference?)

                           -(o o)-
...........................From Smiley_Central