Subj: Facts3
(Includes 27 jokes and articles, 22672n,3,cf)
Bears in Flowers
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Subj: Facts3 (Includes 27 jokes and articles, 22672n,3,cf) |
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Bears in Flowers from PageWorks |
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| Subj:
How To Open A Locked Suitcase (S601b)
From: LABLaughsclean on 7/9/2008 (in HowTo) |
 |
Photo from YouTub |
Lost a suitcase Key? How do you
get into it? This video
will show you how to get it
safely open. You can view this
short movie at the above source,
or by clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
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Subj: History
Test (S446)
From: RFSlick on 7/31/2005
Please pause a moment, reflect
back, and take the following
multiple choice test.
The events are actual cuts from past
history.They actually happened!!!
Do you remember?
-1968 Bobby Kennedy was
shot and killed by
a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry
Potter
d.Muslim
male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40
1. In 1972 at the Munich
Olympics, athletes were kidnapped
and massacred
by
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting
Bull
c. Arnold
Schwarzenegger
d.Muslim
male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
2. In 1979, the US embassy
in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour
bus full of 80-year-old women
d.Muslim
male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
3. During the 1980's a number
of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King
of Sweden
c. The Boy
Scouts
d.Muslim
male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
4. In 1983, the US Marine
barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza
delivery boy
b. Pee Wee
Herman
c. Geraldo
Rivera
d.Muslim
male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
5. In 1985 the cruise ship
Achille Lauro was hijacked and a
70 year old
American passenger was murdered and thrown
overboard
in his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little
Mermaid
d.Muslim
male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
6. In 1985 TWA flight 847
was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy
diver trying
to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain
Kidd
b. Charles
Lindberg
c. Mother
Teresa
d.Muslim
male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
7. In 1988, Pan Am Flight
103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby
Doo
b. The Tooth
Fairy
c. Butch
Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d.Muslim
male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
8. In 1993 the World Trade
Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard
Simmons
b. Grandma
Moses
c. Michael
Jordan
d.Muslim
male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
9. In 1998, the US embassies
in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary
Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's
women problems
c. The World
Wrestling Federation
d.
Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
10. On 9/11/01, four airliners
were hijacked; two were used a
missiles
to take out the World Trade Centers and of the
remaining
two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the
other was
diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands
of people
were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny,
Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme
Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d.
Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
11. In 2002 the United States
fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran
Church
c. The NFL
d.Muslim
male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
12. In 2002 reporter Daniel
Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie
and Clyde
b. Captain
Kangaroo
c. Billy
Graham
d.
Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and40
13. 2004 - Spain Railway bombings.
Muslim male
extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
AND NOW !
14. 2005 London Railway bombings
Muslim male
extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
Nope, I really don't see a pattern
here to justify profiling,
do you?
So, to ensure we Americans never
offend anyone,particularly
fanatics intent on killing us,
airport security screeners will
no longer be allowed to profile
certain people. They must
conduct random searches of 80-year-old
women, little kids,
airline pilots with proper identification,
secret agents of
the President's security detail,
85-year old Congressmen with
metal hips, and Medal of Honor
winning and former Governor
Joe Foss, but leave Muslim
Males between the ages 17 and 40
alone because of profiling.
As the writer of the award winning
story "Forrest Gump" so
aptly put it, "Stupid is
as stupid does."
\\\//
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Subj: WGASA
Bush Line (S59)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98
Some years ago, the famous San
Diego Zoo opened a second,
larger branch called the San
Diego Wild Animal Park. The
Park is built around an enormous
open-field enclosure
where the animals roam free.
To see the animals, visitors
ride on a monorail called
the Wgasa Bush Line which circles
the enclosure. Here's
the true story of how the Wgasa
Bush Line got its name.
They wanted to give the monorail
a jazzy, African sounding
name. So they sent out
a memo to a bunch of zoo staffers
saying,"What shall we call the
monorail at the Wild Animal
Park?" One of the memos
came back with "WGASA" written on
the bottom. The planners loved
it and the rest is history.
What the planners didn't know
was that the zoo staffer had
not intended to suggest a name.
He was using an acronym
which was popular at the time.
It stood for "Who gives a
shit anyhow?"
\\\//
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 |
Subj:
Something Down The Drain?
Retrieve it Without a Wrench. (S645b) By Michael Davis |
This short video teaches you
how to get something out of
a sewer drain without a wrench.
Click on the above source,
or 'HERE'
for my file copy, to learn how to do this recovery.
\\\//
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Subj: Urban
Legend Exposed (S59)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98
(See 'The Ultimate Urban
Legend' in STORIES)
There are not many people who
have never received a
chainletter, either via snailmail
or e-mail, asking for
lots of Get Well-cards for a
9-year old boy dying of
cancer, so he could break the
world record..
That boy *was* Craig Shergold,
he's now 18, cured of cancer,
and appeared on the October
20th 1997 edition of the BBC
programme. Here?Now. When
he first made his appeal for Get
Well-cards, he thought he'd
never get more than a hundred
or so, even though he wanted
about a million in order to
beat the record. He got
16 million, and his entry in the
Guinnes Book of Records.
Over the years however, people
have kept sending him cards,
and he has now received about
190 million! He is an entire
mail-district by himself, and
gets 6 mailbags of card every
single day! Once every
week, volunteers gather, and open
the mail and remove the stamps
so that everything can be
recycled. When the BBC
crew was filming there, they were
somewhat embarrased to find
that even BBC programmes are
still sending cards. In
one week Craig now gets 5000 cards
from Poland - of all places
- alone!
The Shergold's are quite fed
up, and desperately want every-
body to stop sending cards.
Even the Royal Mail made a
passionate plea for people to
stop sending cards.
On the up side, bills are lost
in the pile (that takes up
a room) quite often......
Source: Here?Now, British Broadcasting
Corporation, Mon 20
Oct 1997
\\\//
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Subj: Dumb
Bank Robber (S568)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98
Florida: [Pardon our English]
Wearing a ski mask and
carrying a gun, a thief burst
into the bank one day.
Aiming his gun at the guard,
the thief yelled, FREEZE,
MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A _
_ _ _-UP!" For a moment,
everyone was silent. Then
the snickers started. The
guard completely lost it and
doubled over laughing. It
probably saved his life, because
he'd been about to
draw his gun. He couldn't
have drawn and fired before
the thief got him. The
thief ran away and is still at
large. In memory of the
event, the bank has put this
engraved plaque on the wall
...."Freeze, Mother-Stickers,
this is a _ _ _ _-up!"
\\\//
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(S662b)
by John Graziano From: Comics.com on 9/17/2009 |
 |
\\\//
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Subj: Dubious
Achievement Awards -- British Division
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98
The following is from the British
Sunday Express giving
Gongs (medals) for dubious distinctions.
Tortoise Trophy:
To British Rail, which ingeniously
solved the problem of
lateness in the InterCity express
train service by
redefining "on time" to include
trains arriving within
one hour of schedule.
Rubber Cushion:
To John Bloor, who mistook a
tube of superglue for his
hemorrhoid cream and glued his
buttocks together.
Crimewatch Cup:
Gold star:
To Henry Smith, arrested moments
after returning home with
a stolen stereo. His error
was having tattooed on his
forehead in large capital letters
the words "Henry Smith".
His lawyer told the court: "My
client is not a very bright
young man."
Silver star:
To Michael Robinson, who rang
police to deliver a bomb
threat, but became so agitated
about the mounting cost of
the call that he began screaming
"Call me back!" and left
his phone number.
Bronze star:
To Paul Monkton, who used as
his getaway vehicle a van with
his name and phone number painted
in foot-high letters on
the side.
British Cup:
To the passengers on a jam-packed
train from Margate to
Victoria, who averted their
eyes while John Henderson and
Zoe D'Arcy engaged in oral sex
and then moved on to
intercourse... but complained
when the pair lit up
post-coital cigarettes in a
non-smoking compartment.
Flying Cross:
To Percy the Pigeon, who flopped
down exhausted in a
Sheffield loft, having beaten
1,000 rivals in a 500 mile
race, and was immediately eaten
by a cat. Alas, the
90-minute delay resulting from
finding his remains and
handing his ID tag to the judges
relegated Percy from first
to third place.
Lazarus Laurel:
To Julia Carson, who as her
tearful family gathered round
her coffin in a New York funeral
parlour, sat bolt upright
and asked what the hell was
going on. Celebrations were
short-lived, due to the fact
that Mrs. Carson's daughter,
Julie, immediately dropped dead
from shock.
Silver Bullet:
[UPI, Spain] To poacher Marino
Malerba, who shot a stag
standing above him on an overhanging
rock -- and was killed
instantly when it fell on him.
\\\//
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Subj: The
Astronaut Pen (S52, S369)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/5/98
and
From: CHRISDADDYG on 2/9/2004
During the heat of the space
race in the 1960s, the U.S.
National Aeronautics and Space
Administration decided it
needed a ball point pen to write
in the zero gravity
confines of its space capsules.
After considerable
research and development, the
Astronaut Pen was developed
at a cost of approximately $1
million U.S. dollars. The
pen worked and also enjoyed
some modest success as a
novelty item back here on earth.
It writes in zero gravity,
upside down, on almost any surface
including glass and at
temperatures ranging from below
freezing to over 300 degrees F
The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.
Enjoy paying your taxes--they're due again.
\\\//
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Subj: Party
And Travel Dangers
From: RFSlick on 98-01-18
This story is NOT true, but it is great reading.
This is not a joke, it is a rather
sick and unfortunately, true
story, so beware. This
story came from the "Daily Texan" - the
University of Texas Newspaper.
Apparently it occurred during
Fall Premier - a UT tradition
that is a celebration of the end
of midterms. "REASON NOT
TO PARTY ANYMORE" - This guy went out
one Saturday night to a party.
He was having a good time, had
a couple of beers and some girl
seemed to like him and invited
him to go to another party.
He quickly agreed and decided to
go along with her. She
took him to a party in - some apartment
and they continued to drink,
and even got involved with some
other drugs (unknown which).
The next thing he knew, he woke
up completely naked in a bathtub
filled with ice. He was still
feeling the effects of the drugs
but looked around to see he
was alone. He looked down
at his chest, which had "CALL 911 OR
YOU WILL DIE" written on it
in lipstick. He saw a phone was on
a stand next to the tub, so
he picked it up and dialed. He
explained to the EMS operator
what the situation was and that
he didn't know where he was,
what he took, or why he was really
calling. She advised him
to get out of the tub. He did, and
she asked him to look himself
over in the mirror. He did, and
appeared normal, so she told
him to check his back. He did
only to find two 9 inch slits
on his lower back. She told him
to get back in the tub immediately,
and they sent a rescue team
over. Apparently, after
being examined, he found out more of
what had happened. His kidneys
were stolen. They are worth
$10,000 each on the black market.
Several guesses are in order:
The second party was a sham, the
people involved had to be at
least medical students, and it was
not just recreational drugs
he was given. Regardless, he is
currently in the hospital on
life support, awaiting a kidney.
The University of Texas in conjunction
with Baylor University
Medical Center is conducting
tissue research to match the
sophomore student with a donor.
I wish to warn you about a new
crime ring that is targeting
business travelers. This
ring is well organized, well funded,
has very skilled personnel,
and is currently in most major
cities and recently very active
in New Orleans. The crime
begins when a business traveler
goes to a lounge for a drink
at the end of the work day.
A person in the bar walks up as
they sit alone and offers to
buy them a drink. The last thing
the traveler remembers until
they wake up in hotel room bath
tub, their body submerged to
their neck in ice, is sipping
that drink. There is a
note taped to the wall instructing
them not to move and to call
911. A phone is on a small table
next to the bathtub for them
to call. The business traveler
calls 911 who have become quite
familiar with this crime.
The business traveler is instructed
by the 911 operator to
very slowly and carefully reach
behind them and feel if there
is a tube protruding from their
lower back. The business
traveler finds the tube and
answers, "yes". The 911 operator
tells them to remain still,
having already sent paramedics to
help. The operator knows
that both of the business traveler's
kidneys have been harvested.
This is not a scam or out of
a science fiction novel, it is
real. It is documented
and can be confirmed. If you travel
or someone close to you travels,
please be careful. Sadly,
this is very true. My
husband is a Houston Firefighter/EMT
and they have received alerts
regarding this crime ring. It
is to be taken very seriously.
The daughter of a friend of a
fellow firefighter had this
happen to her. Skilled doctor's
are performing these crimes!
(Which by the way have been
highly noted in the Las Vegas
area). Additionally, the
military has received alerts
regarding this. This story blew
me away. I really want
as many people to see this as possible,
so please bounce this to whoever
you can.
\\\//
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Subj: Cookies
From: Internet Joke Archive
(See 'The Ultimate Urban
Legend' in STORIES)
This story is NOT true, but it is great reading.
Okay, everyone....a true story
of justice in the good old
U.S. of A. Thought y'all
might enjoy this; if nothing else,
it shows internet justice, if
it can be called that.
My daughter and I had just finished
a salad at Neiman-Marcus
Cafe in Dallas and decided to
have a small dessert. Because
our family are such cookie lovers,
we decided to try the
"Neiman-Marcus Cookie".
It was so excellent that I asked if
they would give me the recipe
and they said with a small
frown, "I'm afraid not."
Well, I said, would you let me buy
the recipe? With a cute
smile she said, "Yes." I asked how
much, and she responded, "Two
fifty."
I said with approval, just add it to my tab.
Thirty days later, I received
my VISA statement from Neiman-
Marcus and it was salads and
about statement, it said,
"Cookie recipe-- Neiman's Accounting
Dept., and told them
the waitress said it was "two
fifty," and I did not realize
she meant. I asked them
to take back the recipe and reduce
my bill and they said they were
sorry, but because all the
recipes were this expensive
so not just everyone could
duplicate any of our bakery
recipes....the bill would stand.
I waited, thinking of how I
could get even or even try and
get any of my money back.
I just said, "Okay, you folks got
my worth of fun." I told
her that I was going to see to it
that every cookie lover will
have a replied, "I wish you
wouldn't do this." I said, "I'm
sorry but this is the only
way I feel I could get even,"
and I will.
So, here it is, and please pass
it to someone or run a few
copies....I paid for it; now
you can have it for free.
(Recipe may be halved):
2 cups butter 4 cups flour
2 tsp. soda 2 cups sugar
5 cups blended oatmeal** 24
oz. chocolate chips
2 cups brown sugar 1 tsp. salt
1 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder 3 cups
chopped nuts (your choice)
2 tsp. vanilla
**measure oatmeal and blend
in a blender to a fine powder.
Cream the butter and both sugars.
Add eggs and vanilla;
mix together with flour, oatmeal,
salt, baking powder, and
soda. Add chocolate chips,
Hershey Bar and nuts.
Roll into balls and place two
inches apart on a cookie
sheet. Bake for 10 minutes
at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.
Have fun!!! This is not a joke--this is a true story.
\\\//
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Subj: The
Origin Of The Middle Finger (S58, S472c)
From: rlr29 on 97-02-11
and
From: DoctorDebt on 1/30/2006
HISTORY LESSON
The 'Car Talk' show (on NPR)
with Click and Clack, the Tappet
Brothers have a feature called
the 'Puzzler', and their recent
'Puzzler' was about the Battle
of Agincourt in 1415. The French,
who were overwhelmingly favored
to win the battle, threatened to
cut a certain body part off
of all captured English soldiers so
that they could never fight
again.
The English won in a major upset
and waved the body part in
question at the French in defiance.
The puzzler was: What was
this body part? This is
the answer submitted by a listener:
Dear Click and Clack, Thank you
for the Agincourt 'Puzzler',
which clears up some profound
questions of etymology, folklore
and emotional symbolism. The
body part which the French proposed
to cut off of the English after
defeating them was, of course,
the middle finger, without which
it is impossible to draw the
renowned English longbow.
This famous weapon was made of
the native English yew tree, and
so the act of drawing the longbow
was known as "plucking yew".
Thus, when the victorious English
waved their middle fingers at
the defeated French, they said,
"See, we can still pluck yew!
PLUCK YEW!"
Over the years some 'folk etymologies'
have grown up around this
symbolic gesture. Since
'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say
(like "pleasant mother pheasant
plucker", which is who you had
to go to for the feathers used
on the arrows), the difficult
consonant cluster at the beginning
has gradually changed to a
labiodental fricative 'f', and
thus the words often used in
conjunction with the one-finger-salute
are mistakenly thought to
have something to do with an
intimate encounter. It is also
because of the pheasant feathers
on the arrows that the symbolic
gesture is known as "giving
the bird".
And yew all thought yew knew
everything!
__
(_/)
,/_ /
,/_ /
/ /
/'_`/? ?/?__`7,
/'/ / / /" /_\
('( ' ' _~/' ')
\
' /
'\' \ _.7'
\ /
\ /
Giving the Finger
----- End
\\\//
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Subj: 'Plucking
Yew' Is Urban Legend
From: merlin_of_chaos on 9/25/2003
The origin of 'Plucking Yew'
from the Battle of Agincourt
in 1415 in which the British
defeated the French using the
longbow is an Urban Legend.
The real origin of 'The Bird'
can be found at the web site
http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/bl-pluck-yew.htm
\\\//
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Subj: A Kiss
- Excerpt from a magazine article on the origins
of the kiss (source unknown):
The kiss as we know it today
was invented by medieval knights
for the purpose of determining
whether their wives had been
tapping the "mead barrel" (drinking
liquor) while they were
away on crusades." According
to the book "A Kiss is Just a
Kiss" by Bruce Velick.
The stodgy Victorians frowned
on almost anything that
involved bodily contact.
Social kissing was considered
unacceptable behavior in both
England and the United States
during this era.
In Poland, a kiss on the hand
was considered a sign of
rebellion during 40 years of
Communist rule.
Today, social kissing carries
different meanings for
different cultures. By
and large, of course, it is still a
gesture of greeting. "Every
culture has to have a greeting
ceremony," Tiger says, adding
that animals have similar
rituals. Male chimpanzees,
for instance, touch each other's
testicles in greeting.
\\\//
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Subj: New
Airport Managers (S44)
From: Octagon999 on 97-11-30
From an article in this Tuesday's
Wall Street Journal, about
the Dutch firm that has been
hired to manage the International
Arrivals Building at New York's
John F. Kennedy Airport:
The tile under the urinals in
the Arrivals Building has that
familiar lemony tinge; rubber
soles stick to it. Over in
Amsterdam, the tile under Schiphol's
urinals would pass
inspection in an operating room.
But nobody notices. What
everybody does notice is that
each urinal has a fly in it. Look
harder, and the fly turns into
the black outline of a fly, etched
into the porcelain.
"It improves the aim," says Aad
Kieboom. "If a man sees a fly,
he aims at it." Mr. Kieboom,
an economist, directs Schiphol's
own building expansion. His
staff conducted fly-in-urinal trials
and found that etchings reduce
spillage by 80%. The Dutch
will transfer the technology
to New York.
"We will put flies in the urinals
yes," Jan Jansen says in a
back office at the Arrivals
Building. He is the new Dutch
general manager, the boss as
of noon today. "It gives a guy
something to think about. That's
the perfect example of
process control."
\\\//
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Subj: Creative
Trash Cans (S51)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/5/98
A few years ago, a city in the
Netherlands had a refuse
problem. A once-clean
section of town had become an
eyesore because people had stopped
using the trash cans.
There were cigarette butts,
beer bottles, chocolate
wrappers, newspapers, and other
trash littering the
streets.
Obviously, the sanitation department
was concerned, so
they sought ways to clean up
the city. One idea was to
double the littering fine from
25 guilders to 50 guilders
for each offense. They
tried this, but it had little
effect. Another approach
was to increase the number of
litter-agents who patrolled
the area. This was more of
the same, that is, another "punish
the litterer" solution,
and it, too, had little impact
on the problem.
Then somebody asked the following question:
"What if our trash cans paid
people money when they put
their trash in? We could
put an electronic sensing device
on each can as well as a coin-return
mechanism. Whenever
a person put trash in the can,
it would pay him 10
guilders."
The idea, to say the least, whacked
everyone's thinking.
The problem had been changed
from a "punish the litterer"
to one of "reward the law abider".
The idea had one
glaring fault, however; if the
city implemented the idea,
it would go bankrupt. Half of
Europe would come to use the
trash cans!
Fortunately, the people who were
listening to this idea
didn't evaluate it based on
its practical merits. Instead,
they used it as a stepping stone
and asked themselves:
"What other ways are there in
which we can reward people
for putting their refuse in
the trash cans?" This question
lead to the following solution.
The sanitation department
developed electronic trash cans
which had a sensing unit on
the top that would detect when
a piece of refuse had been
deposited. This would
activate a tape-recorder that would
play a recording of a joke.
In other words, joke-telling
trash cans!
Different trash cans told different
kinds of jokes (some
told bad puns while others told
shaggy dog stories and
still others told snappy one-liners)
and soon developed
repuations. The jokes
were changed every two weeks. As a
result, people went out of their
way to put their trash in
the trash cans, and the town
became clean once again.
\\\//
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Subj: FCC
Proposal To Charge For Internet Service (S49)
From: JOELFALLON on 98-01-07
(See 'The Ultimate Urban
Legend' in STORIES
and 'Truth About FCC Proposal'
below)
I am writing you this to inform
you of a very important
matter currently under review
by the FCC. Your local
telephone company has filed
a proposal with the FCC to
impose per minute charges for
your internet service. They
contend that
your usage has or will hinder
the operation of the
telephone network. It
is my belief that internet usage
will diminish if users were
required to pay additional
per minute charges. The FCC
has created an email box
for your comments, responses
must be received by February
13, 1998. Send your comments
to isp@fcc.gov and tell them
what you think. Every
phone company is in on this one,
and they are trying to sneak
it in just under the wire for
litigation.?nbsp; Let everyone
you know hear this one. Get
the e-mail address to everyone
you can think of.
\\\//
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Subj: Truth
About FCC Proposal
From: Anaise on 98-01-11
This is a typical email chain
letter hoax, and has been
around for ages. While
it has a grain of truth, the subject
was dropped years ago to have
per minute charges.
From CIAC Chain letter web site:
How do you recognize a chain letter?
Chain letters all have a similar
pattern. From the older
printed letters to the newer
electronic kind, they all have
three recognizable parts:
A hook.
A threat.
A request.
First, there is a hook, to catch
your interest and get you
to read the rest of the letter.
Hooks used to be "Make
Money Fast" or "Get Rich" or
similar statements related to
making money for little or no
work. Electronic chain letters
also use the "free money" type
of hooks, but have added
hooks like "Danger!" and "Virus
Alert" or "A Little Girl Is
Dying". These tie into
our fear for the survival of our
computers or into our sympathy
for some poor unfortunate
person.
When you are hooked, you read
on to the threat. Most
threats used warn you about
the terrible things that will
happen if you do not maintain
the chain. However, others
play on greed or sympathy to
get you to pass the letter on.
The threat often contains official
or technical sounding
language to get you to believe
it is real.
Finally, the request. Some
older chain letters ask you to
mail a dollar to the top ten
names on the letter and then
pass it on. The electronic
ones simply admonish you to
"Distribute this letter to as
many people as possible."
They never mention clogging
the Internet or the fact that
the message is a fake, they
only want you to pass it on to
others.
Chain letters usually do not
have the name and contact
information of the original
sender so it is impossible to
check on its authenticity.
Legitimate warnings and
solicitations will always have
complete contact information
from the person sending the
message and will often be signed
with a cryptographic signature,
such as PGP to assure its
authenticity.
What should you do?
If you receive a chain letter
in your e-mail, either delete
it or send it on to one person.
That one person is your
local security officer or system
administrator, thereby
allowing them to investigate
and warn their users not to
pass on the letter. Do
not send it to your friends and
relatives because you will be
clogging up the network. In
addition, you lend your and
your company's reputation to
the message, making it appear
to be authentic even when
that is not the case. Hit the
delete button instead and put
that message where it belongs.
Why aren't the chain letters on the CIAC hoaxes page?
Many hoaxes are chain letters,
but not all chain letters are
verifibly hoaxes and, in fact,
could describe real events.
The CIAC hoaxes page is reserved
for malicious code warnings
that we know to be hoaxes.
Malicious code is defined as
being a collection of programs
such as viruses, Trojan
horses, logic bombs, and worms.
The hoax warnings either
describe things that cannot
be true or have been traced to
the perpetrator who admitted
that it was a hoax. Chain
letters, on the other hand,
often describe things that may
be real. In general, we
believe they are all fakes, but
that fact is often difficult
or impossible to verify. We
still suggest that you do not
pass them on, even if they
could be real. The damage done
by passing them on is much
higher than the warning in the
message. Again, if you
suspect the message is real,
pass it to your security
officer or incident response
team and let them verify it
first.
Why do people send chain letters?
Only the original writer knows
the real reason, but some
possibilities are:
To see how far a
letter will go.
To harass another
person (include an e-mail address
and ask everyone to send mail, e.g. Jessica Mydek).
To bilk money out
of people using a pyramid scheme.
To kill some other
chain letter (e.g. Make Money Fast).
To damage
a person's or organization's reputation.
I also want to thank Greg for
the following specific
information. We will be
more careful in the future.
Subj: Truth
About FCC Proposal II
From: SSAGE19647 on 98-01-13
I hate to say it, but your friend
didn't check this out at
the fcc web site. The
latest info on this subject can be
checked out here:
http://www.fcc.gov/Bureaus/Common_Carrier/Factsheets/ispfact.html
This is part of what it says:
Q: Is the FCC considering allowing
local phone companies to
impose access charges on ISPs?
A: The FCC requested public comment
in December 1996 on
whether ISPs should pay current
access charges, and more
generally on how Internet and
interstate information
services that use local telephone
networks should be
treated. The Commission
concluded on May 7, 1997 that
ISPs should not be subject to
interstate access charges.
There is currently no open comment
period on this issue.
You can go there to get the rest
of the info.
Greg
\\\//
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Subj: Short
True Stories
Top
Subj: Tornadoes
(S390b)
From: igiggle on 7/15/2004
In the Northern Hemisphere,
most tornadoes twist
counterclockwise. Below
the equator, they spin
the other way - clockwise.
Top
Subj: Number
Of Words (S183)
From: RFSlick on 7/31/00
(Also see 'Number
Of Words' in NATIONAL)
Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
The Lord's prayer: 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
The Gettysburg Address: 286
words.
The Declaration of Independence:
1,300 words.
The US Government regulations
on the sale
of cabbage: 26,911
words.
Top
Subj: Faux
Cue
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #166
Saw something when I was out
tooling around today that I
thought you might get a kick
out of. On Magnolia Blvd just
west of Cahuenga Blvd in N Hollywood,
CA there's a
rehearsal studio named, 'Faux
Cue'...
Try that about 3 or 4 times real fast...
From: tadams96 on 5/7/2002 (S275c)
On the average, right handed
people live nine years longer
than those who are left-handed.
(So if you're ambidextrous,
do you split the difference?)
\\\//
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