Subj: Thoughts As Quoted
(Includes 45 jokes and articles, 29763,1,cf)
P & C Webmasters
Also see COWBOY file - 'Will
QUOTES4 file - 'One-Liners From David Riberio'
POLITICAL2 - 'Mark Twain Quotations'
THOUGHTS-WARM- 'Thoughts Of Eleanor Roosevelt'
Gentle Thoughts for Today (S707)
From: darrellvip on 8/4/2010
Photo from Zazzle.com...
Click on the above source, or
for my copy to read
these cute, witty quotes.
Subj: The Guy in the Glass (S520b)
by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934
From: Anon Jr. on 1/7/07
When you get what you want in
your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father, or
Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the feller to please, never
mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and
"chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world
down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.
Dale Wimbrow 1895-1954
The original poem by Dale Wimbrow
titled "The Guy in the
Glass" was first published in the American Magazine in 1934.
The magazine had asked their readers to offer an answer to
a young man's question to the Editor of the magazine as to
"Why he should be honest." . . .
Subj: Charles Schultz's Philosophy (S265b, S763)
From: RFSlick on 1/25/2002
and From: LABLaughsClean on 3/14/2006
You don't actually have to take
the quiz. Just read the email
straight through, and you'll get the point, an awesome one,
that it is trying to make! Take this quiz:
1. Name the five wealthiest people
in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for
best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember
the headliners of
yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are
the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards
tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and
certificates are buried with their owners.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided
your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through
a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel
appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.
The lesson: The people who make
a difference in your life
are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money,
or the most awards. They are the ones that care.
Pass this on to those people
who have made a difference
in your life.
"Don't worry about the world
coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in Australia."
Subj: Great Quotes On Bus Tickets (S161, S651)
From: smiles on 3/1/00
Karl Overton writes:
I don't know of anywhere else in the world that does this,
but Adelaide, South Australia, my home town, has the desire
to print inspirational sayings on the back of bus tickets:
I thought they might make an
interesting edition of H.A.N.D,
so here they are...
All sunshine, makes a desert.
Conscience is the little thing that tells you someone is sure
to find out.
What really matters is what happens within us, not to us.
Speech is the gift of all, but the thought of few.
Those who talk much, say nothing. In quietness and confidence
shall be your strength.
Remember to face the sun and you shall never see the shadows.
Some people exist but never really live.
Be realistic, aim for the impossible.
Pleasant thoughts make pleasant lives.
Life is a canvas - you fill in the picture.
Your life is what your thoughts make it.
The poor person is not one without a cent...
but one without a dream.
Some times it is better to ask forgiveness than permission.
You will notice that the truth is written
and spoken beautifully.
Two things are hard on the heart... running up a hill,
running down people.
Self praise is no recommendation.
You can never ride two horses with one behind.
To find friendship, offer friendship.
You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it.
Every ending is a new beginning.
Behind every good woman... is herself.
Purpose is what gives life meaning.
Nothing makes people go into debt like trying to keep up
with people who already are.
You never know what you can do until you try.
People who live in the past rob the future.
Life happens when you're on your way to someplace else.
Making the most of today is the best preparation for tomorrow.
If we don't stand for something, we'll fall for anything.
To know one's ignorance is part of knowledge.
Responsibility walks hand in hand with capacity and power.
In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.
Method saves hours of wasted effort.
Worry is the interest paid on trouble before it is due.
Better to remain silent and be thought of as a fool than
speak and remove all doubt.
You can't get anywhere unless you start.
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
We make a living by what we get but a life by what we give.
And the last one I have seen
as a catch phrase of this list...
If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.
I hope at least one of these is what someone needed to hear...
Subj: Instructions for a Good Life (S156)
From: PGSP4LIFE on 01/23/2000
Instructions for a "good" life..
THE FOLLOWING IS TAKEN FROM A NEPALESE GOOD LUCK MANTRA.
YOU'LL FIND IT TO BE WORTH READING
AND WORTH SHARING:
I N S T R U C T I O N S F O R L I F E
1. Take into account that great
love and great achievements
involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R's:
Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting
what you want is sometimes a
wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made
a mistake, take immediate
steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then
when you get older and
think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home
is the foundation
for your life. Do all you can to create a tranquil,
13. In disagreements with loved ones,
deal only with the
current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship
is one in which your
love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you
had to give up in order
to get it.
19. Call your mother.
20. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Subj: Why Are Things The Way They Are? (S122)
From: RFSlick on 5/20/99
During my junior year in high
school, Mr. Reynolds,
my English teacher, handed each student a list of
thoughts or statements written by other students,
then gave us a creative writing assignment based
on one of those thoughts. At 17, I was beginning to
wonder about many things, so I chose the statement,
"I wonder why things are the way they are?"
That night, I wrote down in the
form of a story all the
questions that puzzled me about life. I realized that
many of them were hard to answer, and perhaps
others could not be answered at all. When I turned in
my paper, I was afraid that I might fail the assignment
because I had not answered the question, "I wonder
why things are the way they are?" I had no answers.
I had only written questions.
The next day Mr. Reynolds called
me to the front of
the class and asked me to read my story for the
other students. He handed me my paper and sat
down in the back of the room. The class became
quiet as I began to read my story:
Mommie, Daddy........ Why?
Mommie, why are the roses red?
Mommie, why is the grass green and the sky blue?
Why does a spider have a web and not a house?
Daddy, why can't I play in your toolbox?
Teacher, why do I have to read?
Mother, why can't I wear lipstick to the dance?
Daddy, why can't I stay out until 12:00? The other kids are.
Mother, why do you hate me?
Daddy, why don't the boys like me?
Why do I have to be so skinny?
Why do I have braces and wear glasses?
Why do I have to be 16?
Mom, why do I have to graduate?
Dad, why do I have to grow up?
Mom, Dad, why do I have to leave?
Mom, why don't you write more often?
Dad, why do I miss my old friends?
Dad, why do you love me so much?
Dad, why do you spoil me?
Your little girl is growing up.
Mom, why don't you visit?
Mom, why is it hard to make new friends?
Dad, why do I miss being at home?
Dad, why does my heart skip a beat when he looks in my eyes?
Mom, why do my legs tremble when I hear his voice?
Mother, why is being "in love" the greatest feeling in the world?
Daddy, why don't you like to be called "Gramps?"
Mother, why do my baby's tiny fingers cling so tightly to mine?
Mother, why do they have to grow up?
Daddy, why do they have to leave?
Why do I have to be called "Grannie"?
Mommie, Daddy, why did you have to leave me? I need you.
Why did my youth slip past me?
Why does my face show every smile that I have
ever given to a friend or a stranger?
Why does my hair glisten a shiny silver?
Why do my hands quiver when I bend to pick a flower?
Why, God, are the roses red?
At the conclusion of my story,
my eyes locked with
Mr. Reynold's yes, and I saw a tear slowly sliding
down his cheek. It was then that I realized that life
is not always based on the answers we receive,
but also on the questions that we ask.
Subj: Life Is Like Juggling Five Balls (S115)
From: RobertTompkins on 4/10/99
From the president of Coca-Cola
Imagine life as a game in which
you are juggling some five
balls in the air. You name them work, family, health,
friends, and spirit, and you're keeping all of these in
the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber
ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other
four balls: family, health, friends and spirit, are made of
If you drop one of these, they
will be irrevocably scuffed,
marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never
be the same. You must understand that and strive for
balance in your life. How?
* Don't undermine your worth
by comparing yourself with
others. It is because we are different that each of
us is special.
* Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
* Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them,
life is meaningless.
* Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living
in the past or for the future. By living your life one
day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
* Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
* Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.
* Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking
chances that we learn how to be brave.
* Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's
impossible to find.
* The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest
way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best
way to keep love is to give it wings.
* Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only
where you've been, but also where you are going.
* Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is
to feel appreciated.
* Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless,
a treasure you can always carry easily.
* Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be
retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be
savored each step of the way. Yesterday is History,
Tomorrow is a Mystery, and Today is a gift: That's
why we call it - The Present.
Subj: Rush Limbaugh's 35 Undeniable Truths (S100)
From: Tom_Adams on 98-10-20
1. There is a distinct singular
American culture - rugged
individualism and self-reliance - which made America great.
2. The vast majority of the
rich in this country did not inherit
their wealth, they earned it. They are the country's achievers,
producers, and job creators.
3. No nation has ever taxed itself into prosperity.
4. Evidence refutes liberalism.
5. There is no such thing as a New Democrat.
6. The Earth's eco-system is not fragile.
7. Character matters; leadership descends from character.
8. The most beautiful thing
about a tree is what you make with it
after you cut it down.
9. Ronald Reagan was the greatest president of the twentieth century.
10. The 1980s was not a decade
of greed but a decade of
prosperity; it was the longest period of peacetime growth
in American history.
11. Abstinence prevents sexually
transmitted disease and
pregnancy - every time it's tried.
12. Condoms only work during the school year.
13. Poverty is not the root ("rut") cause of crime.
14. There's a simple way to solve
the crime problem: obey
the law; punish those who do not.
15. If you commit a crime, you are guilty.
16. Women should not be allowed
on juries where the accused
is a stud.
17. The way to improve our schools
is not more money,
but the reintroduction of moral and spiritual values,
as well as the four "R's": reading, 'riting, 'rithmatic,
18. I am not arrogant.
19. My first 35 Undeniable Truths are still undeniably true.
20. There is a God.
21. There is something wrong
when critics say the problem
with America is too much religion.
22. Morality is not defined by individual choice.
23. The only way liberals win
national elections is by
pretending they are not liberals.
24. Feminism was established
as to allow unattractive women
easier access to the mainstream of society.
25. Follow the money. When somebody
says, "It's not the
money," it's always the money.
26. Liberals attempt through
judicial activism what they
cannot win at the ballot box.
27. Using federal dollars as
a measure, our cities have
not been neglected, but poisoned with the welfare
28. Progress is not striving
for economic justice or
fairness, but economic growth.
29. Liberals measure compassion
by how many people are
given welfare. Conservatives measure compassion by
how many people no longer need it.
30. Compassion is no substitute for justice.
31. The culture war is between
the winners and those who
think they're losers who want to become winners. The
losers think the only way they can become winners is
by banding together all the losers and then empowering
a leader of the losers to make things right for them.
32. The Los Angeles riots were
not caused by the Rodney
King verdict. The Los Angeles riots were caused by
33. You could afford you house
without your government
- if it weren't for your government.
34. Words mean things.
35. Too many Americans can't
laugh at themselves anymore.
How to reach RUSH - Email: rush@Compuserve.com or email@example.com
Subj: Advice To A Young Man On The Choice Of A Mistress (S48)
Written by Ben Franklin
Typed by AJSwitzer, old book provided by JOELFALLON
(See 'In Praise Of Older Women' in WOMEN1
and 'Actual Politician's Quotes:' in POLITICAL2)
To my dear friend:
I know of no medicine fit to
diminish the violent natural
inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should
not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper remedy.
It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the
State in which you most likely to find solid Happiness.
Your Reasons against entering into it at present appear to
me not well founded. The circumstantial Advantages you
have in view by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but
they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself,
the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman
united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, She
wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he her
Softness, Sensibility, and acute Discernment. Together
they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single
Man has not nearly the value he would have in the State of
Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd
half of a pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent, healthy
Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good
Economy will be a fortune sufficient.
But if you will not take this
Counsel and persist in
thinking a Commerce with the sex inevitable, then I repeat
my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should
prefer old Women to young ones.
You call this a Paradox and demand my Reasons. They are these:
1. Because they have more Knowledge
of the World, and their
Mind are better stor'd with Observations, their
Conversation is more improved, and more lastingly agreeable.
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome they study to be
good. To maintain their Influence over men, they supply
the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility.
They learn to do a thousand Services small and great,
and are the most tender and useful of Friends when you
are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there
is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is
not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no Hazard of Children, which irregularly
produced may be attended with much Inconvenience.
4. Because through more Experience they are more prudent and
discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion.
The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to
your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair
should happen to be known, considerate People might be
rather inclined to excuse an old Woman, who would kindly
take care of a young man, form his Manners by her good
counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune
among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency
of the fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the
highest Part. The Face first grows lank and wrinkled;
then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts
continuing to the last as plump as ever; so that covering
all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below
the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to tell an old
one from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are
grey, the Pleasure of Corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman
is at least equal, and frequently superior; every Knack
being, by Practice, capable of Improvement.
6. Because the Sin in less. The debauching a Virgin may be
her Ruin, and make her Life unhappy.
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young
Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflection;
none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
8. And last. They are so grateful!!
Thus much for my Paradox.
But still I advise you marry
directly; being sincerely
Your affectionate Friend,
|Thoughtful smiley from